Two years ago today, I met a cute little Italian girl at a church event.
This morning, I woke up next to her. I got up and walked down the hall, past the room where our daughter is sleeping, to our living room, to write this.
I met my dream girl and married her. Two years ago, I never would have guessed today was coming.
Here’s how it worked for me.
I always felt like I was built for marriage. I never wanted to be with a bunch of different girls. I just wanted one. I felt like I was always meant to find that one girl and be her very shiny knight in very shiny armor. I was just having trouble finding her, and getting awfully bitter about it.
On January of 2009, I felt compelled to write down a description of my dream girl. A verbal sketch of the (probably imaginary) woman I’d been longing for. For some reason, I posted it on my blog.
I’d been annoyed with God for some time for denying me my girl. Trouble is, every time I’d meet a new girl, my first thought would be “ooh! maybe it’s her!”
Side note: desperation is not sexy.
So, I’d been more and more annoyed with God, more and more tense, until I finally gave up. That is, I surrendered. Here’s what I wrote in my journal on Valentine’s Day, 2009:
Lead me, Lord. Here it is. I offer you my attractions. My desire to find a wife. My reactions to women. Please, take it all, and use it how you see fit. Please, please… tell me when to speak and when to stay silent. Who to pursue and who to let go. When to persist and when to give up. What desires and clean, and which are unclean. Which please you, and which do not. I’m asking for wisdom, which you have promised to give. I know you want me to have discernment, and to live by the principles you have set down. I know you want me to give you lordship over my life. I know you love me and want the best for me.
So I guess I have to trust you. Okay. I trust you. Please forgive me and correct me when I don’t.
I told God that the only way I’d do it is His way. He told me I should wait, but I wouldn’t have to wait long.
Jen and I met on February 28, 2009.
Our first date was March 16.
We became an official couple on March 26.
I proposed on June 26.
We got married on November 6.
Throughout those few months, I wasn’t desperate. I wasn’t the needy, self-centered pseudo-romantic I’d been. I was more like the guy I always wanted to be.
I wish it were always that simple. I wish I could say “pray this prayer, and you’ll find your soulmate.” It’s not that simple. It won’t always work like that.
But for me, the answer to loneliness was surrender.